Words and photographs by Bianca-Olivia Nita

Day one: In the silence of the neighbourhood, there’s no one to be seen, but you can feel the presence of others. Human beings with the same fears and worries. We keep the doors closed, and only go out to scavenge through the largely empty supermarket at the corner. And then we get back to our caves.

Martin and I said we’d make the most of this time. We cook lunch and set the table nicely. We’re on our laptops working during the day and take breaks to chat and play music. This morning we danced with coffees in our hands.

I feel there is a sense of community in this. We have never stopped the pace of life to this degree before. We have never truly faced what we are made of when life was so fast and busy. We write more messages these days, and ask and comfort each other. And I feel the human safety net that holds me now is spread around the globe. Our lives align across countries and continents. We have found a common denominator in the shape of an invisible chain made of unease. We share the same reality and the same pace across different time zones.

Today is fine. Today is good. I ran out into the fields. The wind, my body moving, and the open space feel like freedom. I feel like I have got this. I am in control. When I stop thinking and I look around, I feel that I just am, and I’m still breathing. The sky is still above. We are okay.

Day two: I asked V. how she’s doing and she said she’s mainly trying not to get divorced.

The postman came earlier to bring a package, and he threw it at me from half-way down the stairs. He was wearing rubber gloves and he looked worried. He looked like he was working within a radioactive area. It made me think about hypochondriacs living in a permanent state of terror. Others live in bouts of worry spread throughout the day.

I try to be just here, right at this moment.

The sky is grey today. The clouds are low and it make me feel the walls are closing in. Everyone believes we’ll still be here the whole month of April. Even April feels far away right now. My birthday is on the 11th and I’ll be turning 36.

Day three: I stopped counting the days. It's strange how this started to feel… normal. We should feel lucky, we’re not in complete lockdown like in Italy or Spain. There’s too much information coming in and I have stopped reading. There will be time to reflect on all this, just not today.

At 8:45 this morning You’ll Never Walk Alone could be heard on the radio throughout Europe. One song to fill the space of every home and every car. I missed the song but kept the thought behind it and kept the feeling.

I have no plans. The month of May, the summer, and the future seem so far removed, and yet a sense of them is still in me.

 

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Life in lockdown. Womankind approached its community to write about life in lockdown around the globe, notably a three-day diary of everyday life under the threat of COVID-19. Womankind is publishing these stories freely to show how the pandemic is affecting women from all over the globe - from New York, to Barcelona to Glastonbury.

 

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