By Carolina Gregori
Day one: This is the 7th day of my confinement in a 30 square-metre apartment. My partner and I have started to count the days in prison-style, crossing the lines every five days. We started to do it because it seemed funny. My partner said it would help us stay motivated, to end this lock-down period better than we started it.
I am not so optimistic. I am aware that we are lucky because we are together, we are not ill for now, and we have everything we need. But the obligation to acknowledge that we are lucky contradicts my constant desire to complain. Although I’m working from home, I’m worried about losing my job, like most people. The company I work for was in a delicate situation before this, and my co-workers and I can't stop feeling this is only going to make things worse. But we try to work and be productive.
Everything feels so unnatural outside. This morning I went grocery shopping. It was sunny, but not hot enough to wear a short-sleeve t-shirt but I wanted to get as much sun as possible for vitamin D. Almost empty streets, and police fining a person who was sitting on a bench doing nothing, outside without a proper reason.
Day two: After breakfast we collected our clothes that were hanging to dry. While we were folding them, we joked about how the end of the confinement would not catch us without clean clothes to go out in. I am trying to address these confined days as an opportunity to deal with many delayed goals: reading a history book I got for my birthday, working on the English course I am enrolled in, watching a video course I bought to learn how to use Indesign properly. I am not succeeding. At least, I think this period will help me realise that, all those things I always imagined I'd do if I were not working at home, wouldn't actually get done.
All of our friends and family are worried about the same things: how many of us are going to get infected with the virus? What wil happen to our health system? How is our economy going to recover after this pause? A friend told me pregnant mothers who are one month from delivering are advised to find an alternative birth-plan, such as giving birth at home, since it is expected that hospitals are going to be overcrowded with people suffering from the Covid-19 for many months to come...
Today, the news is that the confinement is probably going to be extended for another two weeks, until Easter break. It is not a surprise for anyone here in Spain, seeing how things are turning out in Italy. But it is quite depressing. I was trying to deceive myself about the possibility that the confinement will end next Saturday, as they initially announced.
Day three: Many of us are being forced to take a journey within as a result of having so much time to ourselves. I usually do not benefit from this: my journeys within generally leave me with a useless and negative self-portrait. Still, I am determined to take this time as an opportunity to be more aware of the things I want to change and behave less pessimistically than I usually do. Therapy is helping me with that. These weeks, my psychologist and I will have sessions through Skype.
The media insists: this shall pass. We have to stay at home and behave responsibly. However, I must confess that when I heard the news this morning, I felt an urgent desire to run away from Barcelona to Valencia, my hometown, ignoring what the authorities are asking us to do. It is quite strange to suddenly accept restrictions from the state, compared to the past when we were free and we could do what we wanted.
In a best-case scenario, we will use this experience to learn the lesson: individualism is a delusion. In societies, we need to think about the consequences our actions have on our neighbours, be those who live next door or on the other side of the world.
Life in lockdown. Womankind approached its community to write about life in lockdown around the globe, notably a three-day diary of everyday life under the threat of COVID-19. Womankind is publishing these stories freely to show how the pandemic is affecting women from all over the globe - from New York, to Barcelona to Glastonbury.
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